Kettering
June 2001

Well, Kettering was a strange event. Full of East Midlands Promise, a script that was said to entertain all, and a campsite that hinted at space being tight. I arriced with Nitro and the Mighty O'Conner on the Friday night, watched the headline Circus performance that passed off (only just) as an exercise in tent erection, and then with the two lusty boys, wandered off to the beer tent, just after eleven. Arrived at said large, well-lit tent, to find that they had stopped serving, and better than that, were about to kick everyone out, so that the under-age bar-staff could fo home to bed. My compliments to Neil Farnsworth, and the delectable Sarah, for the celebratory cigar which did go quite a way in softening the blow of such a piss-poor beer tent. Suddenly made me appreciate all the effort Roger Benton had gone to over the last few years in providing us with on-site facilities. I'd heard that Northamptons' weren't a collection of hardened drinkers - Kettering provided me with the proof.

The day dawned blisteringly hot, and between debating why I had chosen to sleep with the two lusty boys, and did I really want to be here, I thought on what to do, as an individual over the weekend. The temptation of meeting a Northampton on the field and venting my ire over the deplorable beer tent was just too tempting to resist. On top of that, Sam had told me that Pike numbers were low. So I took up post as a Corporal. Take note, I still refer to them with a capital 'P' ... that's likely to change if a few more don't turn up!

The first day on the field was ... well... shite!

I have never, in all my 18-odd years of farting about, in either SK or ECWS, ever fought a battle where I had 4 pushes and 3 water breaks. I was amazed to hear that Dave Cox had an equally thrilling day in the musket, and fired off 6 shots. I don't travel around this country of ours to participate in an event that was less exciting than your average village fete on a rainy afternoon, nor do I expect the membership to. Needless to say, I complained... not to Bob, not even to the new Lord General (he was far too busy in his Noddy Car!), but instead I had a few words of opinion to say to two Inner Council members, one officer of the hosting regiment, and the Company Secretary of the Sealed Knot. Now I'm not taking any credit that I acheived anything here - more likely quite a few people had put the 'verbal' boot in too - but I think all will agree that the second day WAS better. So in future, if you hear anyone say "this is a right Kettering of a party / muster / lecture..." then you know what they are talking about. Salvation may, or may not, be just around the corner, it all depends on whether you act to change it.